The Boy: Mom, what’s a warship??
Me (while driving three loud children up a very slick hill): Um, it’s a big ship that people use in war. It’s got guns and RADAR and stuff on it.
Boy: So it’s used to destroy, like submarines and, and, and, like planes, and stuff?
Twin Annoyances: BAM! BAM! TAKE THAT BAD GUYS!!! PPPZZZZTTTT!! BBBZZZZ!
Me (narrowly missing a car that’s stuck in the ditch): Yea, it’s used to shoot down planes and bad guys.
Twin Loud Things: Hey! Can a torpedo shoot things? MOM!! MOM!!! TORPEDO!!!!! LOOK LEFT!!!! TORPEDO!!!!! NO, SISTER!!! LEFT IS OVER THERE!!!! YOU MEAN RIGHT!!! NO, I MEAN LEFT!!!! MOM!!!! SHE’S BEING MEAN TO ME!!!!!!
Boy: Hmmmmmmmmm.
Boy: Mutter, mutter, mutter.
Me (straining to hear over Twin Megaphones): What?? What did you say?
Boy: Well, I’m confused. I thought they said that you had to warship God but I thought that you should be nice to people. If you warship God, then you are trying to destroy him and torpedo him, and smash heaven, and SHOOT THINGS, and zap THE BAD GUYS!
Me (sigggggggh): That’s WORSHIP, spelled W-O-R, not W-A-R.
