Thursday, April 19, 2012

Cloacas and poop.

Why do I have these types of conversations in the car? Am I the only one?

Inquisitive Boy: Mom, what’s a cloaca?
Me (in the front of the car): What??
Boy: Clo-aaaaaaaaaaaaay-caaaaaa. What’s a cloaca?
Me: Uh, a cloaca? It’s a combined opening for the reproductive system, the digestive system, and the excretory system. Where did you hear that word?
Boy: So I have a cloaca?
Me: No, chickens have cloacas. They pee, poop, and push eggs out the same hole. You don’t have, well, that.
Twin Things (miraculously quiet up until this point): <snicker, snicker> Pee.
Two-Year Old Chanter: POOP! Poop. Poop. Poop.
Boy: Well, when I go to the bathroom, how do I know my sperm isn’t coming out?
Me (I’m trying to hear over the “Poop” chant): Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Well, uh, that happens when you are older and, well, uh, it feels different. Trust me, you’ll know.
Boy: Mumble, sex, mumble, cocoon, mumble.
Twin Bothers: <sqeeeee, giggle, giggle, giggle>
Me (scared of what’s coming next): What?
Science Boy: Nothing. I was just telling my sisters how humans have sex.
Me (Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop!): Well? How do they have sex?
Boy of Knowledge: Well, they rub together in their mucus bubble and exchange sperm.
Me: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. You know you’re not an earthworm, right? Right??
Boy: Duh, mom.
Me: siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.


Sandy Huntress said...

Oh, that is priceless!

Laurie said...

Too funny. My boys (12 and 9) always hit me with these kind of conversations in the car. I would love to know what it is about the car that makes them so comfortable to talk so theory is because I'm not looking them in the

Sheila said...

Totally hilarious... out of the mouths of babes.

Lisette M said...

So funny!

sewbluetiful said...

Totally hilarious.......

Unknown said...

Hahaha! I think the best thing about this is how 'well-versed' he is about chickens and earthworms :-)

Elaray said...

I've always said children would be hilarious if only we weren't responsible for how they turned out! That's priceless!

PS now I know what a cloacas is.

marysews said...

AND did you see that you are blog of the month at the fabric dot com blog? Congratulations!

Paulette said...

hee hee hee

love these snippets....

Sherril said...

Good times you'll be able to repeat back to him at the dinner table when he's in his 30s.

CoudreDuCoeur / said...

These are the reasons I read your blog (other than for "fabric porn"... especially since my 2-year old won't let me on my sewing machine because SHE wants to use it).

Tracy said...

I know this feeling all too well. I have two sons some of our car conversations almost caused accidents! Trust me they only get better with age. Just keep driving and look straight ahead:)